All About Gee, Haw, and the Now

I've been working hard to prepare three of my cattle to compete at the Sandwich Fair. During training, Owen, a Scottish Highland steer, ran away seven times when I asked him to turn right. I took Owen to the fair, but because he didn't have a partner, he couldn't compete. They did let him practice the course, which called for very few "gees" (right turns) and a whole lot of "haws" (left turns). That suited Owen. He didn't even think about running away. With 4-H teamster Rose DeFreitas at his side, Owen was downright obedient, and I was proud of them both.

I entered Sam and Bingo, my Black Angus–Normande cross steers, in the official log scoot class. In this class, teams of steers drag a loaded sled through an obstacle course. Sam and Bingo did everything I asked. The trouble is, I hadn't asked often enough at home, and we placed last in our class.

Working with steers feels spiritual to me because they respond to what I'm thinking. If I'm frustrated or angry, they won't perform. When something goes wrong, I ask myself, "Why did this happen? What's going on that I need to know?"

For instance, during the competition, Sam backed up over the chain that connects his yoke to the log scoot. With his rear legs on the wrong side of the chain, he couldn't work with his partner, Bingo, to pull the load. I could have gotten angry at Sam, but instead I learned that I need to teach him to stay on his side of the chain. Anger won't fix it. Practice will.

This works for people too. Say someone ticks you off, and instead of stepping back to evaluate, you feel you have to correct them, not just in the moment but long after. An hour, two hours, three hours of your life go into trying to fix something that can't be fixed.

What I've learned is to take a lesson from a cow.

When someone criticizes me or cuts ahead of me in line, I ask the same questions I ask about Sam. If I get angry, I've let someone else's behavior control my thinking and my peace.

I can't change the circumstance, but I can control my reaction. I don't pretend it didn't happen, but I don't waste time trying to change it.

So take a lesson from the cow: Be in the now. Time is too valuable to spend trying to change the past but we can control the now. All power comes from the now, and I'll be using a lot of nows to help Sam stay on his side of the chain. Meanwhile, I'll be looking for a partner for Owen, preferably one who likes left turns.

Carole Soule is co-owner of Miles Smith Farm in Loudon, N.H., where corporate teams trade conference rooms for cow pastures. Hug Curious Bleu, our gentle Highland steer, saddle up on Bingo the riding steer, and bottle-feed newborn calves on a team-building retreat your crew will talk about for years.