Is it Possible to Fall in Love with a Steer?

Last March, I sat stunned on the couch in our Martha’s Vineyard rental and re-read my husband’s text. “Topper died this afternoon.”

I was on the Vineyard because we decided to find someone to mind our cattle while we rented a house from January to March, when rents are reasonable. Husband Bruce had gone back to New Hampshire for a quick visit to our farm in Loudon to reset the modem or do some other techie thing. Because we’re farmers and don’t like to be away from cattle for long, we brought five calves with us and put them up at the Agriculture Society’s barn. Every weekend and often after school, I’d teach the 4H Katama Cowpokes how get the calves to work in a yoke, pull a cart, and even lie down on command. Life was good until I got that text.

Topper was born on the farm in 2012. His mom was a red Scottish Highlander, and his sire a black Highland bull. Back then, our practice was to give all newborn calves ear tags with numbers. He didn’t have a name at that time, just a number. That was when I decided to train the friendliest calves to work as a team in a yoke—not for practical reasons, but because I knew it’d be challenging and fun. At weaning, #5 was especially friendly, so I paired him with another young black steer. Because #5’s coat was shiny, like a Top Hat, I named him Topper.

Topper was a quick student. He learned his name and would come running when I called him. In the pasture, he’d rest his head on my shoulder while I scratched his chin. He was always careful with his horns. He’d lift them high, so I wouldn’t get jabbed.

We competed at the Hopkinton and Deerfield fairs in the working steer classes, competing with 4H kids decades younger than me. (“Working steers” are essentially oxen-in-training.) Topper and his partner even won awards, including Best Fat Cattle, and we came in second in Best Trained Cattle one year.

While we were working, Topper kept his eyes on me and obeyed my voice commands, even when I was 20 feet away. He was loyal, handsome, and huge. At 2,000 pounds, he could have trampled me and done what he wanted, but chose instead to respect me as his leader. Every Christmas, he patiently let me put a red nose on his halter and played “Rudolph the Red-Nosed ReinSteer” for our Christmas events.

Thirteen years is old for a bovine, and because Topper’s death was sudden, we think he had a brain aneurysm that stopped him in mid-stride. It was some comfort to know he went quickly, but my heart was broken, and a year later, I still mourn. Beef farmers try not to get personally attached to their cattle, but I’ve never been good at that. Plus, Topper had been sidelined from the meat program many years ago, and our bonds were strong. If you’ve lost a beloved pet, you know what I mean.

With Topper gone, his yoke mate, 10-year-old Finn, has been carrying on, not pulling loads, but winning the hearts of youngsters who love to climb on his back and snuggle into his long, shaggy hair.

If you want to meet Finn, sign up for the Miles Smith Farm Cow Crew Experience on March 22, 2026, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., where your child can climb aboard Curious Bleu or Finn for an unforgettable photo op, take a sled ride with working steers Ben & Jerry, or enjoy a cart ride with Owen. Sign up here to save your spot click here. 

Carole Soule is co-owner of Miles Smith Farm. She can be reached at carole@soulecoaching.com.