How Many Cattle Do I Have?

"How many cows do you have?" is a seemingly straightforward question that I get all the time. But I seldom know the answer because cattle are hard to count, and it keeps changing all the time. 

When I meet ranchers from Utah or Texas, they don't hesitate to say 3,000, 10,000, or even 30,000 head of cattle. My next question is, "How do you count them?" My whole herd of 40 to 60 probably falls within a Texan's margin of error.

The current count is 48, and they are sorted into three separate fields. The pregnant cows and young steers are in one field, the bulls and oxen in another with the younger calves in a third. And it's essential to know how many cattle should be in each place. If the count is short, it could be because a bull has escaped or a cow has wandered off to give birth. (She might need help.) So I count them all every day.

First, I have to recall how many are in each of the three fields (three numbers to remember). The census usually takes me four or five tries to get the count right because… well, cattle move. They hide behind each other or stand behind the big hay bale or a tree. Counting is difficult even when the cattle are lying down. The rule is; we don't leave the field until we count them all.

If counting my 48 is hard, I can only imagine what it's like to count 3,000 cows. Ranchers tell me they run the cattle through a chute and count them, but they must miss some. I would. While some people fall asleep counting sheep, I tend to fall asleep counting cattle.

Last week unfolded like one those "story problems" we used to have in arithmetic class: Carole has 50 head of cattle, then two calves were born, she sold two heifers and sent two for processing. How many cows does Carole have now? If you want to know how many cattle I have, you're putting me to work. My fast answer is: "All of them."